Uplift Students

However, just before winter break, my life was turned upside down when I made the biggest mistake of my life. I did something stupid and ended up in jail in Alabama. For a few days, nobody knew where I was or what had happened to me. I just disappeared. Eventually, I could call my family and tell them what had happened. 

I was gone for three months and was looking at a potential of four years in prison. I was just barely 18 and in county jail with people who committed violent and severe crimes. These months locked up really changed me. I was profoundly impacted by my experiences. I was treated like an adult even though I was still in high school and in the process of applying for college.

I spent a lot of time alone in my jail cell. I read many books and did a lot of soul-searching, asking myself where I went wrong and thinking about all the people I let down. I thought about my mom, my little sister, who was four years old at the time, and the rest of my family.

I’m not going to lie: being in jail, treated as an adult, was a scary place to be. I couldn’t show a lot of emotion. I tried to keep my head down and started getting used to the solitude. Then suddenly, with no warning, one day, the guard called me over and told me I was being released. No one knew I was getting out — not my family or lawyer — no one. They opened the doors and cast me into the 35-degree Alabama winter.

Everything about this experience was brutal, but returning to my life, family, and school was much more challenging than I expected. The weight of my actions was heavy on me. I was so behind on everything and missed most of my senior year. While I was gone, I missed all of the critical deadlines for college applications, even though Ms. Lee had tried to submit them on my behalf. The work I had put in to get into a good four-year university was erased and chances of getting in were long gone.

Re-integrating into high school was hard; it was the polar opposite of the last three months I had spent isolating myself. I came back to econ class, and my friends, when my friends saw me, they ran over to me, and even that felt weird. During lunch break, I’d just stay alone, getting depressed, thinking about my mistake. I even contemplated suicide because I felt my life was over and that I’d never be able to get back on track.

I remember first seeing Ms. Lee when I had just gotten back. She came right up to me and hugged me. It made me think of my time in jail and how, so many times, all I ever needed was a hug. Ms. Lee was there for me. She never gave me a hard time. We picked up where we left off and continued planning my future when the hug ended. She got me back on track and into community college. I was also just in time to submit my application for the Fulfillment Fund scholarship, which was also a huge help.

The next few months, I had to focus on graduating. I stayed after school to make up for lost time and get my hours in. Whenever I’d get bogged down, I would think of my family and how I wanted to turn my life around for them. Making it to graduation was the best feeling ever; like I had finally done something right. I graduated with honors. I had been motivated by all the people who had helped me along the way, and I wanted to make them proud.

I got into L.A. City College and continued my relationship with Fulfillment Fund through my College Success Advisor, Olivia. She’s been such an important person in my life. While I have been in college, I am still dealing with the legal fallout of my actions and she’s been my rock. I don’t think I have ever told her this, but Olivia has been EVERYTHING TO ME. She’s kept me on track to graduate from community college and through my transfer. She helped me with my personal statement and constant check-ins, financial aid, and even wrote a letter to the judge on my behalf. I got into all the schools I applied to and this gave me confidence and showed me I could rewrite my story. I got an A.A. in psychology with honors and discovered I wanted to give back to my community and help others going through hard times.

From the bottom of my heart, I would not be where I am today if it wasn’t for Fulfillment Fund and everyone who is involved. I never once felt judged by anyone, the conversations were always inspiring, and stayed focused on the opportunities I could reach. I have gotten a very strong sense of community and belonging from Fulfillment Fund.

I am also a new dad now, and staying in school has become more important than ever. I want to be a role model for my son, my sister, and others in my community who may think they are out of options. I am currently at CSU Fullerton and am on track to graduate in May 2024. After this, I hope to get my masters in social work so that I can help troubled youth. I want to assist others the same way I was, and Fulfillment Fund has helped me get closer to achieving this dream. I am grateful for the kindness and support I have been given, and I am thankful to you, the reader, for being a part of this amazing community. I hope that sharing my story will inspire you to continue supporting Fulfillment Fund and first-generation students like myself, and more importantly, to tell others how they are truly helping to make a difference.

Thank You. 

We connect with our students because, to some degree, we have walked down similar paths. When we come together in the office and exchange some of the challenges we see our students facing, it takes us back to when we were high schoolers preparing to go to college or first-year college students on a new campus navigating a system no one told us about. More often than not, someone says, “I wish I had known this when I was in school,” or “I could have avoided so much debt had I known what I know now.” And, while we cannot change our lived experiences, we can use these lived experiences and combine them with our training and talent to help make our students’ college experience a whole lot easier.

Fulfillment Fund College Counselor Jenny

I wanted to share a part of Fatima’s story because she made a big impact on me this year. Like many of our students, she’ll be the first in her family to pursue a higher education degree. Fatima was a bit anxious when it came to college-related tasks. She came to me on the verge of an anxiety attack one day because she had received an email stating that her financial aid application was incomplete for most of her schools and, for a few, the deadline had already passed.

Since she had applied to several private universities, she was required to fill out additional forms (the College Board’s IDOC and CSS Profile). Though she had originally been working with a non-Fulfillment Fund counselor, she hadn’t been able to get a hold of them when she came across this hurdle. I was happy to help her to make sure she would get back on track. I explained to her that these forms in question were different from the Free Application for Federal Student Aid (FAFSA). When we logged in to her College Board account, she realized they needed her non-custodial parent’s financial information and documentation. She panicked and became upset. She was not in contact with her father and worried this would affect her ability to receive financial aid.

This was a full-circle moment for me. It instantly took me back to when I was a senior in high school, having a meltdown for the exact same reasons. Fortunately, I had someone who calmed me down, helped me reach out to my schools, and found a solution.

Years later, as Fatima’s college counselor, I had the privilege of paying it forward and helping her through this worrisome and frustrating time. I was able to calm her down, help her call the schools she applied to, and complete the forms she needed to submit for her financial aid. Although Fatima missed the deadline for a few schools on her wishlist, she received her financial aid — including a Fulfillment Fund Scholarship — and got into her first choice, Wellesley College!

Fulfillment Fund College Counselor Connie

Jin was a good student who had been anticipating going to college. During his junior year of high school, he often met with me and discussed his plans to go to CSUN. But something was different when Jin returned for his senior year. His entire demeanor had changed, and he was very pessimistic about his future. Jin’s grades began to slip, and he was frequently late to school.

I knew something was off. This was not the same Jin I had worked with the year before. We had made such significant progress during his junior year, and I didn’t want to give up on him. So many times, Jin had shared his desire to go to college and be the first in his family to get his degree; I had to find a way to get him back into that mindset.

Jin and I continued to check in regularly that first semester, and by December, he opened up to me about what was really going on. Over the summer, his mother moved out of state, and he had been living with his grandparents. Jin was depressed and felt that no one cared about his future. He also had to start working and was feeling overwhelmed. To complicate matters even further, his grandparents’ home was destroyed in a fire, leaving them homeless for a few weeks. Jin would share tears with me in his moments of vulnerability. I could see his mental health was declining, especially as I heard him say things like, “What’s the point? No one cares.”

I decided he had too much going on for me to pressure him with college. Instead, I wanted to make sure our time together was conducive to conversations about the future and things he wanted to do in life, what type of job he wanted to have, and the places he wanted to travel to. Eventually, we talked about things that motivated him, and I began to see a shift. It was clear he didn’t want to settle for a job like the one he had currently, so we started discussing options.

Then, one day, Jin was ready. He came to me and said, “I need to apply to community college.” We had to move quickly at this point since it was already February. I continued to give him hope for the future, what a future with a degree could look like, as opposed to giving up. His motivation slowly began to return to him. We enrolled him in a community college with a plan to transfer to a four-year university with a financial aid package.

By the end of the year, Jin was beginning to look like his old self, positive and proudly showing me his prom photos. I was so proud to see him walk on stage during graduation. Now, he is focused on making his transfer next year and hopes to build a career to help others struggling with mental health. I think he’s going to be an excellent role model.